I would say that I'm very happy with my life right now. I no longer cringe when my phone rings and my mom is on the other end. I no longer fear what is going to happen the next day with her. I no longer stress out about work and getting things done while also rushing to get home and cook dinner, spend quality time with the family, clean house, and go to bed only to do these things all over again the next day. I've been blessed with the opportunity to be a SAHM for a little while and I'm trying to take in every minute. I'm so grateful for the situation that we have now. I've said this a thousand times...I really miss my mom...but where we are now is so much better than where we were.
With all that being said, I dread Saturdays now. I dread the 25 minute drive to the WW meeting. I dread the walk in the building. I dread getting on the scale. I dread lots of things because the weight isn't coming off like I'd hoped it would.
On my way to the meeting today, I did a lot of soul searching. I had a lot of time alone to think about why I'm here at this point right now. Why am I trying to lose the weight...again? I'm not sure if it's for me. I think that I'm trying to lose weight for everyone else. I'm sure you're thinking, I don't care what you look like, but I think that I'm trying to lose the weight so that others won't see me as fat Candice -- just Candice. I want L to be proud that I'm his wife. I'll keep doing my soul searching to figure out who I want to be.
Thoughts though? -- should I spend the $40 a month and continue the meetings or should I spend the $40 a month and find a gym? So many thoughts! What I do know that as long as I am being held accountable I will be more likely to make better decisions with fear of a big weight gain on the scales...but a gym membership may be just what I need to get back in the swing of things. I haven't priced gyms with child care so I may not be able to find one that meets all my needs. Gonna think about these things.
If you haven't checked out my 30B430 pages yet lately you should...I've marked a few things off my list! ;-)
I think you should contact some gyms and ask about trial memberships. some places will let you do a week or a month without having to make a full commitment. See how hard/easy it is to get out and go! in regards to childcare, we can discuss a swap of sorts.
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