Day 6

PHEW -- we're almost done!! I'm not "jonesing" for sugar like I thought I would be, but I'm excited about being able to eat what I want again. I did almost quit last night, but like I have considered it so many other times this week, I chose not to.

It's official, I'm definitely starting WW tomorrow. It's going to be tough going back (and feeling like I've failed with my weight loss goals from the last 18 months) but I'm dedicated. I've always said that I'd like to be a leader for teens and I noticed that the local WW offers teen classes once a week. If I can get back down to my goal weight, I can lead classes for teens!

breakfast
grits, eggs, and cheese
grape juice

lunch
tuna (mixed with yogurt) -- not to bad!
wheat crackers
grapes

snack
chips and dip :( [at least it was sugar free]

dinner
I'm not sure yet...

Day 5

Last night I got major compliments on my spaghetti by L. He said that it was by far the best he's had (coming from me anyway). I usually buy the cheap stuff (I'm not a fan of all that added junk) but he seemed to like the organic sauce. It was pretty good I guess but I added my own seasoning to the meat before I put the sauce in it. Gordon Ramsay said something about how you should season everything so I figured what the heck. I've put all my seasoning on top of my stove so that I can see it and it has made it easier to remember what I have.

BTW, if you don't read my comments, the banana bread was horrible. Thank goodness P will eat anything. I think I'll stick with the other recipe if I make it again. I'm not a big bread person but I usually eat cereal or a granola bar for breakfast (it's fast) and the bread is an easy eat.

breakfast
1 slice of super yucky banana bread
1 cup grape juice (YUM!)

lunch
leftover spaghetti

dinner
chicken and something??

I'm going stir crazy in this house...P and I are heading to the doctor to see what's up with his rash. My gut tells me everything is fine but my mom brain would feel better with a professional's opinion.

We are hopefully scheduling a family photo session next weekend so I may go looking for clothes for us to wear. I'm a fan of the "dressing similar" family portraits. The background is a sunflower field so I'm thinking of blue colors...we'll see. I'm just dying to get out of the house. Hopefully this rash isn't contagious...that's why we've been staying in.

Oh, and I've decided to start attending WW meetings again. Some previous plans have [not really worked out] changed so I might as well try to get this weight off.

day 4

Honestly, this whole "no sugar" thing is kind of boring. I think that I'm eating worse but I have lost 1.5 lbs. I really didn't do this to lose weight. I did it to try to make a more conscious effort when selecting food to eat. Anyway, I just don't feel like it's making a huge difference. I like that I can eat anything I want and still lose weight but I think the WW lifestyle is better for me. I feel like this whole "journey" is lonely. I don't feel like anyone else around thinks about the 20 lbs they're going to gain before eating that plate of french fries and that ice cream. I want so badly to be able to just eat and not worry about the pounds that will be packed on from the food. I guess that's why all this is so hard for me. It's like a constant battle that I'm always losing. At my lowest weight I worried the most about what I ate. I wish I could find a point where I'm happy with my weight and happy with what I eat.

Oh well...P is really fussing at me today. He's been sick so it's been super fun times in my house (makes all this especially fun)

** P is taking a nap...this is in the oven now!! **

breakfast
fruit smoothie (P drank half of it -- he's such a beggar)

lunch
leftovers from last night

dinner
munched on chips and cheese while cooking
spaghetti

day 3

well, day 2 went better -- I definitely did not feel like I was dying. I've noticed today, though, that I've struggled with the need to eat today. So far, I've put the snacking off but I'm probably about to hit up the watermelon bowl.

breakfast
fruit smoothie (strawberries, blackberries, grapes)

lunch
left overs from last night
1 slice of banana bread

dinner
stewed beef tips (not the best decision to cook in the skillet)
homemade gravy
smashed cauliflower
bowl of watermelon (shared with P)

I'm planning on making another loaf of banana bread tonight and might use a different recipe...yummy good stuff!

day 2

Last night ended on a better note. A full belly helped my headache go away. I was a little excited about getting started on day two and the challenges that I'll have with finding lunch. I've prepared breakfast and dinners but did not really plan for lunch.

breakfast
1 slice of my banana bread
1 cup milk

snack
1 slice banana bread

lunch
pan grilled scallops
rice
watermelon

dinner
my version of shrimp mixed (an entree from a local Mexican restaurant)
shrimp, rice, cheese sauce, caramelized onions, bell peppers, tomatoes

after dinner snack
1 piece of banana bread

here we go!

started my "sugar cleanse" today...so far so good I guess. I forgot to weigh on the Wii before I ate or drank anything. I'll just go by the bathroom scale I guess.

I'm guessing that the week will go quickly though, so here we go.

breakfast
I had egg whites and cheese (I don't normally just eat the whites, but a recipe called for egg whites a while back and I had to buy a big thing of them...so I'm paying for it now) with whole wheat crackers, and apple juice (100% natural - no sugar added). I didn't finish my eggs (thought maybe I wasn't hungry anymore) but I'm dreaming of chocolate.

lunch
super healthy...chips and cheese dip (yeah right!!)
yogurt, grapes, and watermelon.

dinner
cedar plank salmon
baked potato
banana nut bread (made without sugar)

*I'm dying [I've got a horrible headache] just give me one tiny chocolate chip please.*

flop :(

well, my first attempt at homemade was a total flop. I wish I could make a pun out of this but I just didn't do it right I guess. My mix did not rise :(

I don't consider myself to be a master chef, but I can usually make something that I set out to make.

I used the recipe on the bag of flour and not the recipe that I had originally planned to use. There's just too much involved in making bread. I may just skip out and use the whole wheat Triscuit crackers for "bread" next week.

not yet...

well, L isn't being supportive. Apparently this is the stupidest thing I've done. I guess I know where he's coming from. When I first read about this in Lacey's post, I thought...this is stupid. EVERYTHING has sugar (milk was the one thing for me that you just can't cut out but it doesn't have added sugar). I did realize that it's the added sugar that is important. I guess that maybe it's more about limiting my added sugars. This morning I tried to get started. I had milk, eggs, and cheese for breakfast. But when lunch time came around, I couldn't find a thing to eat. I'd planned on tuna and crackers for lunch [mayo and crackers have sugar in them]. I also think I need to research more possibilities since apparently EVERYTHING in my kitchen cabinets has sugar in it. I've found some recipes for crackers and tortilla's without sugar and I plan on making those. I'm going to give myself another week and start things next Sunday. If you have any ideas or good recipes for me, add them in the comments. This is going to be harder than I thought. Fingers crossed...

last supper

I'm lonely -- L has been working early every day for the last (shoot I can't count) __ days. Usually, I have several nights where he's late but because the last weekend he worked was an early weekend, and he worked early on Tuesday so he could go to a concert, I'm out of practice with his late nights.

Loneliness causes me to do things that I normally wouldn't do. Insert sad and depressing movie here...7 pounds. Have you seen it? It's like, put a freaking warning before the movie that people who have lost a loved one in a car accident should not watch. Of course car accidents get me thinking about mom and get me thinking about what everyone (okay not really everyone) said...she did it on purpose. Was I that bad of a daughter that she just couldn't make it to see her grandson being born? I go through my mind about our last conversation. I was so drugged up and so exhausted that I don't remember what we said. All I remember is telling her to be careful and take her time. P could wait on her. Then there was the phone call I knew would come one day or another. She'd always said that when she killed herself (not if) it would be in a way where neither my sister or I found her. She said that someone else would have to deal with her. She said that she'd take the dogs with her. So, I just find it somewhat ironic that she dies in a car accident with both dogs in tow. It's so hard (even still) to see or hear about a deadly accident. I constantly see a picture of what that accident was probably like for her. I saw the car afterward. Any somewhat smart human can determine what happened. I just don't understand but will never know if it was really an accident or if she really did it on purpose. What does it matter I guess. When she attempted suicide in 2008, she told me one thing afterward. She said that there was nothing left for her. When I confronted her about what I meant to her she simply said that I'd moved on with my life and I didn't need her anymore. So, as a counselor, I realize these thoughts are not rational, but they are still my thoughts. I got tired of hearing bad news every time the phone rang. I miss her so much, but my life is easier now. That sure doesn't help the pain I feel. I feel her loneliness, the fact that she had nothing left but sat around on a Saturday night waiting for me to call her [cause no one else was calling her]. I'd given up on her. I got tired of the bad news all the time so I quit calling as much. But now I feel everything she felt. It's almost like the car accident was her last final f-u to me. I think about what things would be like if she were around now. I'd probably still be paying her bills. She'd probably still be completely unhappy. We'd fight about something. I still miss her though. I wish I could have called her when I got my NCE test scores in the mail. I wish I could call her when I'm sad and miss her. I just want to hear her voice again. I dream about her all the time. I've forgotten what she sounded like.

with all that being said, guess what was on the dinner menu tonight? McDonalds!
Big Mac
med. caramel frap.
small fries

tomorrow I start my sugar fast (well, that is if I can get the grocery shopping done) -- it may be Monday.

more on the "NO SUGAR challenge"

**UPDATE**

I went to the grocery store yesterday and basically EVERYTHING has added sugar if it's in a can, jar, box, etc. I was able to find some organic spaghetti sauce [but I could always make my own spaghetti sauce] that did NOT have sugar in it as well as some organic pasta but I'll probably just steam a spaghetti squash. I've had one in my fridge for a while now...I bet it's bad :( I did not find any bread that didn't have some form of sugar in it. Yesterday when I was doing my research I found that bread needs the sugar to metabolize or something like that. L was arguing with me last night about how I can't use pasta and rice because it all braeks down to sugar anyway. He thinks the whole thing is silly but of course, he'll be eating his fast food for lunch every day so it won't really help him any. I was saddened to see that my bacon has sugar. Sigh...

so far, here's my ideas for recipes so far...
breakfast will be eggs and cheese with applesauce or a smoothie of some sort.
spaghetti squash and meatsauce
skillet grilled chicken with fresh veggies
chicken piccata

I'm going to take a picture of everything in my cabinet that has added sugar. This will be depressing.

Here's a running list of resources I'm using -- OH, and I'm avoiding artificial sweeteners as well.

Lacey's post that inspired me -- but I sure can't do it for a month.

another blogger who completed the challenge in a week [I don't know this person]

Inside the Pyramid - added sugars

info on hidden sugars

The shopping list and plan [so far] -- obviously anything on this list will not have added sugar.
yogurt
lots of fresh fruit
canned fruit (in case my fresh fruit can't last the week)
unsweetened applesauce
tuna
search for wraps or breads [this will probably be tough]
dinner meals should be easy
if I eat out, I'll need to have a plan in advance [my fear is that it will be hard to know for sure -- salads all the way]


--more later

No Sugar??

Well, I've decided to do it...it sure will be tough.

Next week, I'm going without "ADDED" sugar for 7 days. Louis is off 4 of the 7 days and we usually have our "date lunches" -- what was I thinking! Till then, I'm going to research things without added sugar and go ahead and plan my meals for the 7 day period. I really don't have a reason for this except that I'm craving sweets like you wouldn't believe and they seem to be my downfall. Sweets lead to salty, which leads to more sweets, which leads to more salty...you see my problem.

I haven't been good since I stopped the whole "document your every bite of food" challenge. I've probably gained all the weight back (I haven't checked). I'll check on Monday...

So, no ketchup or ranch...but milk and beef is acceptable. I'm not considering this a diet, just a way to challenge myself to eat healthier.

Thanks a lot Lacey! (a hint of sarcasm ;-)

some of my favorites

Here are a few staples in my house right now...

Jif Natural -- 190 calories (5). I rarely eat 2 tbs at a time. I blame blog posts a certain two ladies had about spoonfuls of peanut butter!! PB is super high in calories and fat, but it's a good source of protein.
Archer Farms dill pickle flavored cashews -- 160 calories (4) for 1/4 of a cup (but I rarely eat a full serving at a time) I like these because the dill flavoring is a type of flavor that is best in moderation.
Natura Valley granola thins -- D-FRIGGIN-LICIOUS! 80 calories (2). Not normally something I'd waste 2 pts. on, but it's like eating a cookie and well, cookies are usually 4 pts. a piece.

AND THE BIG DEAL!!
Thomas thin bagels [110 calories (1)] and high fiber English muffins [100 calories (1)]. The bagels are a big deal for me because I LOVE bagels! Usually, they're about 4 pts. a piece. I can make my usual breakfast sandwich for about 4 pts [compare to a regular McDonald's bacon, egg and chesse biscuit covered in butter at 420 calories (10)]

silence...

silence from me as a blogger is usually a bad thing.

Let's just say that I've eaten out at a restaurant of some sort every day for the last week [maybe not since I've gone back and thought about it]. If you kept up with my 30 days, you didn't see me eating out much. Eating out is my weakness (it used to be pretty easy when I was hard core on WW).

Just to get it out there, I'm going to try to remember...
Sunday -- didn't eat out, but didn't cook very well either (dinner consisted of tv dinners, fried pickles and fried string cheese [which btw wasn't all that great])
Saturday -- didn't eat out, but L grilled burgers (Angus beef, chips, 2 brownies!!)
Friday -- Italian...need I say more
Thursday -- Steak and Shake...seriously, need I say more (bad news!)
Wednesday -- met J at a good resturaunt and had a healthy (mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, and mozzarella cheese) sandwich...but with chips and cake for dessert, not so good for you.
Tuesday of last week -- K drove up for the day...lunch at Corkey's (catfish po-boy)

so yeah...I've got some work to do.